My Pilgrimage

I had such a blessed trip to Lourdes! Thank you to those who prayed for my journey. I know it added to my trip in a special way.

I lay in my bed Friday morning still in my pajamas and watching The Office, mostly packed and completely wrecked (which means tired, not drunk) from the night before. My planned night of quiet pints and early bed-time was sabotaged by Federico missing the last bus into town. He had to take a taxi back because he had to work at five in the morning, and there were no buses into town before that. So instead of taking one right away, he decided to stay and hang out for a while. (He's crazy...it was half eleven at that point!) Long story short, Kaitlyn, Lennart, and I didn't go to bed until half three when Fred's taxi came. (He went straight home, dressed for work, and left, without sleeping or shaving. He worked for two hours and then they told him it wasn't until five that night that he actually had to work!! Poor guy...) Anyways, I didn't get as much sleep as I had planned, but I was rested enough. I finished packing and ate breakfast and planned just enough time to watch The Office and finish up. Our taxi was to come to collect us at twenty to three. So at two I was lying on my bed and relaxing when I get a knock on my door. "The taxi's here!" Erin shouted. I was so flustered! I changed into my uniform and threw the last minutes into my bag and ran out the door! A great start to my trip... :)

We arrived at the airport and everyone gathered and waited. I learned quite a bit of patience on this trip. With a group of 160 people, and a quarter of those people in wheelchairs, it is important to learn how to wait. I only knew a handful of the people there. Among them were Paddy Murray (the co-creator of CASA and also one of my housemates), Sr. Mary Fox, Erin, Michael (a local volunteer who has helped out in this house several times; he's also one of the five people who were my age), and several members that I've met before. My member lives in Cork, so I was assigned to mind Stephen until we arrived in Cork. His carer was to join us when the plane stopped in Cork to pick up the rest of our group. Stephen was nervous about the trip and even more nervous about the flight. But I was able to calm him down and distract him mostly from his fear. When we pulled into Cork, it took another few hours to load everyone else on the plane. Rita was one of the last to come aboard. She is about 50 years old and has Down Syndrome. I was told very little of her before I met her, but that didn't make me too nervous. I've learned to go with the flow during my five months here. She was nervous as well to go on this journey and I found it slightly more difficult to calm her. I had to gain her trust and gauge her comfort level with me. But it didn't take long for me to bond with her. She is very sweet and lovable. Within a half hour we were joking and laughing and getting along just fine. By the time we arrived in Lourdes, everyone was wrecked from the day. It was midnight by the time we got everyone off the plane and into the buses that took us to the hotel. We had sandwiches and tea waiting for us there, which brought a lot of joy to us pilgrims. As soon as we were all fed, we were ready for sleep. The next day was going to be long and it was going to start bright and early.
I'm going to have some trouble remembering everything that we did during the next full four days in Lourdes. I'll have to stick to the highlights, for the most part. Rita is fairly independent. She needed a little help with showers and dressing, but she could eat by herself and choose her own diet. I helped her mind her medications, and I also helped her with her cough. She is afflicted with chronic chest infections...something I wasn't too thrilled to be around for the six days. I've been getting over a cold that I've had for over three weeks now. She also needed a steady hand to hold while walking because she has terrible balance. Over the course of the trip she fell at least ten times. Although, I must say, most of those were more like "drops" than "falls." I learned quickly that she used this as a means of attention, and I tried not to encourage them with fussing, although, everyone else made this difficult. But besides these few things, Rita was a joy to be with. She appreciated everything that was done for her and given to her. She often said thank you and "You're very good to me, Claire." I felt almost guilty accepting these kind words because I felt as though I needed no verbal appreciation for doing something so simple as to care for her. But it did make the job easier. I was actually surprised at how well I did with remembering all of her meds and the little things that I needed to remember to bring with me every time we left the hotel room. I am normally scatterbrained, but I managed to keep it together during the entire trip. God's grace is my only explanation! :)
After breakfast that first morning, we all gathered for Mass. We had four priests with us, and each of them were wonderful. I especially bonded with Fr. Hugh. The first night he came up to us and we talked for a good bit. He lives here in Dublin and is the parish priest for what he calls a humble little church in city center. I hope to visit him there some time before I go home. After Mass, we took a trip down to the grotto. I can't really describe the beauty of Lourdes, but I do have pictures that I'll post soon enough on Facebook. There are several basilicas and a few other building inside the grounds. The River Gave flows through it and the grotto itself is lovely. There is a statue of Mary where the apparitions were to have taken place. People stood in line to walk in it and touch the stones there. Because we are a group accompanying the sick and disabled, we were able to cut in line. What a blessing this was! We had planned to go to the candle light procession that night, but it was to rain, and we wanted to avoid that. So we decided to go the following night. I can't remember what we did instead...

The next day was much of the same. We had a penance service and I was excited to participate. I waited to speak to Fr. Hugh. I had a very nice experience in confession with him. I feel bad for those who haven't experienced a good sacrament of reconciliation. I believe it is one of God's greatest gifts, and something that should bring great joy and grace to those who participate in it. Right before that I was feeling very sad and missing the religious community at home. But afterwards I felt completely at peace and truly enjoyed being a part of the community there in Lourdes. I hope to keep that spirit with me here, even if I don't have it directly with me in this house. The candlelight procession was not a good experience for me that night. I was feeling under the weather, and trying desperately to conceal that. It was raining desperately that night, and I was pushing Rita in a wheelchair (she used it for distances, which was a great relief...I can't imagine how many more times she would have fallen if she had to walk to the grotto each day) and I was wearing the stupid dress that was my uniform. Standing and waiting in the rain only to walk in the rain was miserable. I let those feelings take over, unfortunately, and I wasn't able to enjoy it at all. I regret that, but let it go. My time of appreciation was coming.
The next day we had Mass and a service of blessing our members with holy water, and having them bless us. It was so beautiful! One of my favorite moments by far. Rita was so sweet making the sign of the cross with her thumb on my forehead. This was the day we went to the baths... Now the baths are the most important part of Lourdes. There is a small building there, near the grotto. In it are several cells with stone baths built into the ground, and each are filled with holy water from the spring that Bernadette found 150 years ago. The water has brought many miracles and healing to many. Rita was terrified to go in the water. She was shaking before we even waited in line. I told her about what was to come and that she would be just fine. But I knew it made no difference. Still, being able to help her made me less nervous and by the time I went in I had no time to dwell on any of my own fears. We were brought into a little room made of curtains. Three little French women held up shrouds for the six women allowed in the room at a time. We were to take off our clothes, hang them up, and wrap the shroud around us. Rita was completely flipped out at this point, and the French women were not able to console her. I only know a little French so I wasn't much help. But I did make the point across that I was to go in there with Rita, even if they didn't like it. I promised her I'd hold her hand and by God I was gonna do it. Shaking and sobbing, she stepped into that freezing water and walked towards the statue of Our Lady. They wanted her to sit down in the water and I told them no. That they understood. They led her out and it was my turn. I wasn't able to be there to help her with her clothes, but I knew she'd be ok. It's their service and joy to do the work they do, and I really didn't want to interfere...but it was my job to take care of her. I was led into the water and the cold shocked me, even after all the warning! But I was forced to ignore that by the peace of the women and the powerful sense of prayer in the room. I walked to the statue and gave Our Lady all of my prayers and requests I brought with me. I sat in the water, and was led out of the bath. When I came out they were trying to put my bra on Rita! A comical moment broke up the spirituality I was experiencing, but it reminded me of our Lord's sense of humor. I explained to the little French ladies that it was mine, and Rita's panic continued. She didn't care who's bra she was wearing as long as she was a step closer to getting out of there! I quickly dressed and grabbed Rita and left. Afterwards, she was completely fine, and looked back on it as something she'd never do again, but not as a horrible moment either. That was the good thing about Rita; she never dwelled on the past.

On Tuesday, we had a beautiful Mass of Healing. It was very emotional for everyone, although I still felt enveloped in God's peace. We were all anointed with oil as our team members put their hands on us. It was very touching. The rest of the day was left for shopping, something that Rita had looked forward to since the plane. "Big shopping! Loads and loads! All day!" she would say. We found our big shopping and she got everything she needed. That morning after her shower she said, "I'm gorgeous! I'm gonna find a man!" And let me tell you, she found her men. They were everywhere! All the male shop keepers were putty in her hands. I could learn a thing or two from this girl. When we were done with our big shopping, we had our last dinner in Lourdes. The next story I have might not be very funny if you weren't there, but I must tell it because it was one of my favorite moments of the trip. When we first arrived and I checked her bag, I noticed that she hadn't packed a toothbrush or toothpaste. She wasn't too concerned with this, but I managed to find her one on the second day. I didn't bother buying her toothpaste, but let her use mine. Not a word was said about this for the whole of the trip. During dinner, Rita was eating her roll, and I was talking to the person next to me. All of the sudden out of nowhere, Rita said, "Oh sugar! I forgot to buy toothpaste!!" I laughed so hard I couldn't contain myself! It was such a random thought for her to have and by far the best thing she said the entire trip! (Although, another favorite was when after being tickled by me, exclaiming, "I'm very ticklesome, Claire!")

That night we had another candlelight procession. The experience was like day and night compared to the first. It was clear out, but cold. Everyone was in good form and much happier to be there. I was proud to be in procession with the wonderful people of CASA among a crowd of thousands. The procession was around the grounds and it was done to the sound of the Rosary being said in several languages, English included, thankfully. At the end we all gathered around the steps to the basilica and sang a few songs. I had to dash to the holy water fonts to get Rita's bottles filled. One of the leaders wasn't too happy with the last minute task, but I wasn't sending Rita home with empty bottles! We walked back and went to bed. I didn't sleep much that night, although I'm not exactly sure what caused this. A mix of emotions, I'm guessing.

The next morning was a blur of breakfast, a quick final Mass, and boarding the buses to take us to the airport. I was sad that the trip was over, but tired and ready for sleep. It was a very long day, with several unexpected delays. Saying goodbye to Rita in Cork was hard. She gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. She asked me to write her, and I promised I would, but after she did first! I hope to see her again before I go home. She is a sweet person and much more fun than trouble. ;)

It was half eight before I got to the Swords house last night. 12 hours of travel time for a flight time of about 2.5 hours. The Swords house was empty and that's just what I needed for quiet and rest before the teens group this weekend. I was alone for the first time since I've been here in Ireland. Luckily, Federico called me and kept me company for a bit. I had my first meal of that day, and then went to sleep. This morning Kaitlyn joined me there to get it prepared for the teens group. We came back and had lunch and a meeting to prepare us for the weekend. The rest of the day was filled with catching up on emails and chatting with all of my housemates that I surprisingly missed. :)

Now I'm settling down before going to bed. I have to admit that the teens groups are my least favorite. I didn't like teenagers when I was one! But these ones are good kids and I'm sure it will be good. My parents are on a plane right now and will be here during my group. I'll meet up with them afterwards, and I'm so excited! How wonderful it will be to see them!

I hope that things at home are going well and I'd love to hear from you! I never get sick of news from home.

Love from Ireland,
Claire